This is me.

Well,in this post..I'd like to explain a few little things about yours truly (me lah!)..right,so I'm an Indian..yes.It's something that I'm ok with..i live with it.No more no less..the thing is..I'm only as Indian as the local next to me,here in sabah.apart from my skin tone..see My family never enforced any beliefs or religious rituals on me..we just go by..My mom prays.and that's about it in the family.As for me,i don't consider myself Hindu anymore..No it's not because I'm embarrassed or hate it or anything like that.I just don't feel any inclination to it anymore..I can count the times I've been to a temple.and when i actually do,i just sit by the sides waiting for my mom to finish her prayers.i have Zero knowledge of what to do in a temple.and I'm freakin serious..But on the other hand, the more i got to know and read about Buddhism..The more i realized,that i actually want to be Buddhist..and one day,hopefully i can..The teachings,the way of life,the values kinda reach out to me.so yeah..

Moving on,people think,that just because I'm Indian,i feel the need to speak in Tamil at all times.here's another thing.i do not understand Tamil,nor is it my mother tongue,thus obviously i do not speak it..I am bilingual,and i only speak English and Malay..The fact that I'm studying in India,doesn't make me more Indian or anything like that.after a year plus..i still have no reason to embrace it..I feel as much as a foreigner there,as i would feel in lets say,Europe,USA,or Africa..The only thing is,half of us look the same.That's until i speak.in a way, it works for me,and in other ways,against..Not gonna elaborate..

I am an Indian yes,but i do not feel the need to inject curry or curry based food into my bloodstream and get high..More than Indian food,i can't live without Chinese cuisine..I miss MSG dammit..and soy sauce.lol..and when I'm home,i request curries not to be on the menu..because I'm sick of it,i miss my sambals,i miss my chicken rice,i miss my soups,etc etc.I study in India hello..and NO,i HATE bollywood..the only thing i like about it are the actresses..that's it.besides that,i scoff at it.I think it's a steaming,calossal pile of rotting garbage..The acting,the story line,the whole bursting into songs every 5 seconds,at different parts of the world..bullshittttt i say..

heck,you can call be blinded,deluded,whatever..It's just who i am.I'm not trying to be something I'm not..so yeah..But sometimes,i want to laugh.i don't know wether to feel sorry or well,LOL at people..i know they're just being nice..like for an example, scenario in a taxi.
Driver inadvertently  plays a bollywood song when i get in..and looks at me all happy like,as if he made my day..like im gona go "abang!!!!.oh terima kasih abangggg..lagu bollywood!!!..aku suka betul banggg..terima kasih kerana bertimbang rasa sama saya yg india ni..wahhh..ohh terharu saya bang.syahdunya"..NO ok!!..as you know,i detest bollywood,and their songs!..they sing like paraplegic cats trying to mate in battery acid.i listen to rap,i listen to hip hop,soul,r&b etc etc.just not bollywood..and yeah,some of the locals are rather cute back home.they feel the need to talk to me in English..and all my replies will be in Malay.like really2 local Malay.as local as it gets..the thing is,i went to a public school which had zero Indians besides my brother and i.The school was packed with locals from a nearby kampung/settlement.so the sabah Malay you get from me is really2 infused with the local slang..to a degree where some locals actually speak to me in their own language,which is not even malay anymore..and the famous question i get is "kamu orang apa?" i do want to reply sometimes "oh saya orang korea,tidak ketara/obvious ka?.".but lol.i just say "saya org india".sometimes people think im just lying to them,and trying to be a smart ass.I'm not even kidding. "Lahad datu mana ada india!".which i have to say "jadi saya ni apa?..jadi ko mau saya jd orang apa?,kestau la,saya jadi..".so yupp..that's that..anyway.I'm having a mental block as to what to write next..i forgot..i had so many ideas just now.it all fizzled out..meh..till next time..